I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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