Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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