Sober January is a disaster.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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