It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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