We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
