I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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