Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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