I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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