I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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