Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
