whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.