I bet he comes in French.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
