Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
