It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
