i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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