Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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