New invention idea: vibrating tampons
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
