Sry I called you an 8
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize