Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
