I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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