Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
