He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
