He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize