laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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