My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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