john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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