I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
