Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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