oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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