How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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