Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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