So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
