Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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