shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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