Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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