is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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