I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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