im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
