Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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