Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
