Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize