just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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