I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
