I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
