I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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