Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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