i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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