I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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