the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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