Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
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good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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