yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
