you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
