you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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