Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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