one might say we're banned from that church
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
