Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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