I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
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