yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
